The following is an excerpt from an article by Chaim Chajes, on ‘Beliefs and customs in connection with death’, published in YIVO’s Filologishe shriftn in 1928. The study was based on a survey conducted among the members of the Vilna Teachers’ Seminary in 1925, asking them about beliefs and customs in the towns they grew up in. It also made use and intended to add to of a lot of secondary material, particularly the work of the pioneering female ethnographer Regina Lilientalowa. The ‘L’ in brackets references her work. Other brackets reference other scholars, or the towns where the customs and beliefs were recorded. 

People were interviewed from the following towns : Orle, Oshmene, Bialystok, Bilsk, Berezne (Volin), Bratslav, Brisk, Duksht, Devenishok, Volp, Vileyke, Vilne, Visoke, Loshkovitsh, Nay-Sventsyon, Stavisk, Pyask, Petrikov, Kobrin, Kolomay (Kolomyya) Kartuz-Bereze, Krinek, Rozhony (Grodno region), Rishkan (Besserabia). Material was also received from Volp, Lune, Motele and Slonik. 

I previously posted another excerpt of this article, documenting how cemetery and grave measuring and candles were used to protect people from death. The section I’ve translated below deals with mourning practices, and in particular the custom of hiring professional women to lead lament and prayer in the cemetery. Most importantly, this section of the article records some of their laments or klogenishn – which, unlike Jewish funeral liturgy, are strikingly raw in their expression of grief.

In a future post, I will share another section dealing with various beliefs about death. The full Yiddish article is available here.

From section 29: Mourning the dead 

In the past, women would come to the deceased of their own accord, uninvited, and cry and praise the deceased and recite their good deeds, then follow the corpse on the stretcher crying. Later, after the funeral they had to be paid for their work. (Kolomay.) 

Today it is customary to go to the ‘holy place’ [the cemetery] with an elderly Jewess, a permanent zogerke (reciter), or a beterke (requester) (Orle.) Most of what she says comes from Ma’abar Yavok [an 18th century book of prayers and rituals relating to illness, death and dying] and everybody wails. This is the remains of the past custom of ‘klogvayber’ – wailing women.

From the home where the corpse is lying screams and wails are heard. People then run out onto the street and scream:

“Oy, Oy, who have you left me to depend on? Oh my tsadik, my rebbe, my khokhem, my advocate!” And to the deceased “May good angels walk before you…”

And at the graveside: 

“Oy, such a bright shining star is suddenly covered by a black cloud!”

The cries are interrupted by praises.

“He had a holy mouth! He never said a bad word about anyone. Such a kosher soul, he didn’t bother anyone during his life, he didn’t forget about his children for one minute … And now he has left us. We have lost our provider … Who will make the children shoes now? Who will pay for their school? On whom have you left us to depend? The little sheep are left without a shepherd. You have left us on a ship in the middle of the water.” (Volp/Vowpa)

“Dear father, sweet father, how do you leave me behind? It used to be light in every corner. What use is the nest to me if the bird is no longer, here, beloved father?” (Laskashzev, YIVO ethnographic commission)

“Darling husband, bright husband! My whole life is broken. Where will I go? Where will I stand? The little one still can’t stand sometimes. What will I do with such a tiny home? We will be forced to die from hunger and need, loyal father in heaven! If only I could take your place, it would be better for me to lie in your grave. What will my little swallows to without someone to provide for them? What use is my life to me? What dark luck I have! What sin caused this to happen to me? Raboyne shel oylem in heaven, don’t punish me for these words!”

“My darling husband, you died a real kosher Jew, like a real Jew should die. May you achieve the merit of our ancestors for me so that I may live to a good age, and not be in the cemetery before my time!”

She doesn’t shed a tear while saying this, because she says that the holy Torah says one should not cry when a pious Jew dies. 

The “cemetery women” described in the above excerpt and documented on this website acted as prayer and ritual leaders in societies in which talking to the dead was a normal and essential part of religious life. The following short section on lost souls helps us to understand why this was such an important part of religious life, even when Jewish law explicitly forbids summoning the dead. If the souls are already waiting to be visited, then talking to them is not an act of summoning. 

Lost souls 

Deceased mothers come at night and cry for their children. This is why they are called ‘klogmuters’ and ‘klogvayber’ (Isaac Meyer Dik)

On the yortsayt of their bodies and also in the month of elul, the soul stands on the grave and waits for visits from their close friends and relatives. Not visiting them at this time brings them shame and disgrace. The soul will also carry out the requests that are brought to it. (L, 18, 149.)

Before the wedding the bride and groom go to visit the graves of their deceased relatives, asking for forgiveness for all the evil they have done and inviting everyone to the wedding. The deceased parents indeed come to the wedding and bless the children. (L, 18, 264.)

On Yom Kippur the dead go to Kol Nidrei (Orle/Orlya) 

Cite this: Annabel Gottfried Cohen “Today it is customary to go to the cemetery with an elderly Jewess” – customs relating to death and dying part two, extracts from  Chaim Chajes, ‘Gleybungen un minhogim in farbindung mitn toyt’, Filologishe shriftn, 2, Vilna, 1928.